Grown up advice: entry #1
Everyone lives life at their own pace and that’s okay. You are in your own lane and there’s no traffic in it.
It’s only been a few days since I moved to US and I’m currently alone at my home, sitting on the carpet and enjoying my favourite music (Romanian pop for the curious souls). I’m in the middle of some light exercise when I noticed a strange feeling within myself — I feel content! I felt a calmness inside me. I don’t remember feeling this way for a long time! A part of me tried to argue that I should be exploring the campus right now, the city and the plethora of opportunities Google offers. But today’s not the day. And that’s okay. Today I just want to relax to my favourite music while I sit on the carpet penning down my thoughts. I found myself thinking — I will explore everything, but at my own pace. I don’t need to do it all. The compassion I extended myself was refreshing. This took me back to all the instances in life where I didn’t show compassion to myself. And there were A LOT of them. I used to feel inadequate when I saw people living crazy busy lives with lots of activities and energy. Have a rich social life. Kill it at work. Explore a ton of hobbies. Have the perfect body. Read a lot of books. Do it all and have it all. After all, everyone else seems to be doing this effortlessly, right? So I tried to run more, run faster and kept running. Slowing down or even pausing for a moment in life meant disappointing my perfect life. Then there came a day when I just couldn’t run anymore. I had to slow down. But I was disappointed in myself because I wasn’t strong enough to keep running. I felt like a failure. But today, while I sit on the carpet contemplating life, I realise how wrong I was. I was running at a pace I wasn’t comfortable with! That’s why no matter how hard I tried to emulate that lifestyle, it always backfired. I often ended up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Accepting this reality has been tough and I won’t say I’m completely at peace with it. It’s still a work in progress but I definitely made a conscious decision to take things slower and at a pace I’m comfortable with. (I’ll still continue to challenge myself and push myself out of comfort zone —but from today it will be because I want to grow in life and NOT because I’m chasing an impossible standard).
What you want from life can be so grand and so ambitious that slowing down — even it’s for a moment — can feel like a needless distraction from achieving your perfect life — but it’s not! The perfect life you want may not be so perfect for you! It can look very different and there’s no reason to think it’s any less than your envisioned one. Ultimately it boils down to whether you’re working for a life that you truly want or a life that you think that you “should” want in life.
So finally the point is that — Don’t rush in life. There’s no “right” timeline, there’s no deadlines and there’s definitely no need to live life like someone else. If we manage to get out of this never-ending race, develop patience and focus on enjoying our own journey, I believe things will eventually fall into place.
